i don't understand GRACE

I don’t understand grace. Not at all.

For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. [Romans 5:7-8]

I am that sinner. And I am wickedly sinful. I am a super prideful, sexually lusting, attention loving, power hungry, greedy, brash, unloving, quick tempered, bigoted, self-glorifying, hard-hearted SINNER! And that's only the tip of the iceberg. You can't even imagine the evil thoughts that go through my mind/heart. And I sin daily, hourly, almost every few minutes. All the time.

And then... THE GOD, Almighty maker of the heavens and earth, comes to be humiliated as a man. Beaten to the point where his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likeness—And DIES a horrible death on the CROSS for ME?! FOR ME?! A wicked sinner...

Think about that. It doesn't even make sense. I feel like just saying "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!"

From disgrace to amazing grace. Sometimes I feel like it's too good to be true. I believe, but help my unbelief Lord.