MISSION impossible

“For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.’ And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimonyof God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.”

[1 Cor. 1:26–2:5]

As soon as our plane arrived back in Los Angeles, the first thing I remember hearing was my friend reminding me how terrible I was at body worship. Haha like I hadn’t forgot about that. Rather than a “Welcome back!”, I received a “Dang you were so bad at training. How did you fare in the Philippines?”—to which I smirked and replied, “Still just as terrible…but I’m glad because that way God gets all the glory and not me.” I realized something that month. Jesus is everything, and I am nothing. I can do nothing, for Jesus has already done everything. And in the end, I am everything in Christ.

From the beginning we heard it all. We were the oddball team. The team without talent. The team without experience. The team that couldn’t learn a proper skit or body worship in its entirety. In my deeply-rooted pride and dignity, I refused to believe it because it was my team. And then on the last day of training, it hit me. This team is terrible because of me. I was (am) quite possibly the worst body worshipper in the history of KCM. I never learned a VBS song the right way, so in the Philippines I just held the boombox and pranced around to avoid the shame. Starting with myself, and then the rest of the team… let’s just say our team wasn’t going to steal the show anytime soon.

The next few days were a blur, and before I knew it I was on the long flight to the Philippines, asking myself “Lord what can I do for you?” I would realize by the end of the month that was the wrong question to ask. I quickly found out from the first day of ministry that I could do absolutely nothing for Christ. My words wouldn’t come out the way I planned, the verses I learned wouldn’t come to my memory, and many a time it was plain awkward. It was humbling to see the mighty Stevo be so helpless and weak, and it was glorifying to see God work through me despite of me.

I remember meeting a woman named Susan, whose husband was in jail and she was at the point of breakdown in her life. I couldn’t come up any words, and I remember thinking “oh wow I’m talking out of my butt.” Without knowing I muttered some “jail” example to share the gospel, which I thought would be sure to turn off her heart to Jesus. Susan was silent for about 5 minutes, and just when I thought she would walk away, she suddenly broke down bawling and embraced me. In my head I was thinking, “Oh God what have I done? What did I say?” But she told me that God had used me to tell her exactly what she needed to hear, and she asked me to introduce her to Jesus. With tears streaming down Susan asked me is it true that God is good? I smiled and told her “All the time.” That was when I first realized-- in my weakness His strength is perfected. I am just a vessel.

Yet I continued to doubt the power of Christ over and over. In a village called Kiangan, there was man during our revival was who acting obnoxiously. I seriously thought he was demon possessed or something because he was disrupting the whole church during the gospel presentations and the message. One again I thought, “Naw Lord, not this guy. There’s no way that this guy can saved.” And what did Christ do? He radically changed that man’s life that night, and brought him to repentance and salvation. Though we held many other similar revivals, I always wondered if the Filipinos would even understand the message. Many of them barely spoke English, and whether Pastor Daniel spoke or I spoke, I questioned if they would even get anything. I remember going to Nueva Viscaya State University and presenting the gospel to hundreds of college students. To this day I am confident that was our worst presentation ever. The body worship was beyond the point of awkward, the skits were offbeat, the ‘Everything’ skit gave us first-degree burns from falling on the asphalt, and my gospel message…I didn’t even know what was coming out of my mouth. Yet once again, God showed me that everything comes from Him, by Him, and through Him. I offered them a chance to commit their lives to Jesus that day. And I almost broke when I saw it. More than 80 people committed their lives to Christ that day, and more than 40 of them wanted to follow up with deeper Bible study. At that point I finally got the idea. It wasn’t “Lord, what can I do for you?” But rather “Lord, why have you done all this for me?”

I am the worst sinner I know. I deserve absolutely nothing. And it blows my mind that Christ would still love me, to the point of death on a cross. You see, salvation doesn’t rest in our hands, but in the grace and goodness of our all-loving God. It’s not about what we do, but what He has already done on Calvary, once and forever. I am more sinful than I’ll ever know, and yet Jesus loves more than I could ever imagine. Once this reality hit me, missions became more than religion. It became more than do’s & don’ts. It became a joy to live in the truth of His grace and to be fearless in my faith. And in that last week, Christ did “immeasurably more than all we [could] ask or imagine, according to His power that was at work within us” (Eph.3:20). In our last days, Pastor Daniel and I decided to do something we hadn’t done for the whole trip. We laid our hands and prayed for a woman who was blind on her right eye. When we had finished praying for her, she was jumping and yelling “Amen, Amen!” because her sight was restored. The next few days we laid our hands on more people, and by the grace of God about 15 more were healed of everything from deafness, debilitating back pains, crippling disabilities, fevers, and more. It was truly humbling that God would choose to work through a sinner like me. Who knew the hands that once led me into all kinds of temptations, would be the same hands that held the power of Christ to heal. The same hands that used to lead me into all kinds of sins, would be the same hands that would lead me to pray for the sick. And not only that…during this time, we saw the greatest miracle of all: God making a dead heart alive. God opening the eyes of those who were spiritually blind. Once again, only One has the power to do so.

So in the end, I can say together with the Apostle Paul, His “grace is sufficient for [me], for [His] power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me…For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2Cor.12:9-10). I am not much. My team recycled the same 2 skits, 2 body worships, and a handful of VBS skits-- and even those we couldn’t get right. But that just means more glory to Jesus, and I’m happy with that. :) For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever and ever! Amen.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Stevo

yet not YOUR will, but MINE be done

-Why is it so costly to give offering, yet so easy to offer money on costly things like clothes, entertainment, and electronics?

-Why are we so hesitant on spending a summer on missions, but when we are offered an internship we take it without hesitation?

-Why are we too busy for a winter retreat, but suddenly so available when it comes to a snowboard trip?

-Why do we have to "see if we're called" when someone challenges us to be a missionary or pastor, when we already call ourselves future doctors and future lawyers?

I guess what I'm trying to say is: Have we asked God to unveil His vision for our lives, or are we asking Him to bless a plan that we've already come up with? We must come to God with empty hands and an open heart and ask, 'What is your vision for my life?'

Now that I'm in my last year of college, I've been thinking a lot about my future and what I'm going to do. I keep asking God to give me His vision for my future, but honestly, I've already made up my mind on what I want to do. I have a 5-year plan, a 10-year plan, and I plan on making more plans. Maybe it is God's will, maybe it's not. But I'll never know until I fully yield myself to God. I don't want to look back decades from now and realize that all I've done was a waste. Please Lord--not my will, but Yours be done.

Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.

Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.

[Psalm 127:1]

jesus had a POTTY MOUTH

With a filthy mouth He cried "It is finished." Let the video load for a little bit, and watch from minute 68:00 to the finish. Dang it breaks me...the grace, love, and forgiveness of Christ is unimaginable.

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." [Ephesians 3:14-21]

PHILIPPIANES 2:9

They call our team Philippines 2k9. But as I like to call it, we are Philippianes 2v9:

"Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave Him the name that is above every name." [Philippians 2:9]

This missions team is all about Jesus. Our main purpose and goal is to exalt the name of Christ. Please pray for us. I'll be back in about a month my amigos, but until then... enjoy your summer ya hear?! Salamat.

for though a righteous falls seven times, he RISES again... [proverbs 24:16]

Do you remember playing with (or abusing) those Bobo Dolls? They were these inflatable clowns that kept mysteriously returning upright whenever you hit it. As a kid, I thought they were the most annoying things. For God's sake, why would a parent even buy their kids a toy like that? To lower their self-esteem? To make them feel inferior to a balloon man?

I used to unleash my fury on the Bobo Doll with flying kicks, reverse kicks, scissor kicks, karate chops, 15-punch combos, my yellow plastic baseball bat, and even wrestling moves. And just when I had thought "Surely this time I hit him hard enough" or "He'll never rise again"... Just when I thought I had finally defeated this balloon baffoon... I would turn around, only to see it slowly rising and giving me that annoying smile again, as happy as ever...

So as a kid I always wondered, what made this Balloon Buffoon always come back up? Little did I know... the physical make-up of a Bobo Doll has a foundational weight that never moves at it's base.

Haha today it makes me smile and laugh. Because WE are Bobo Dolls. Our "center of mass" is the CHIEF CORNERSTONE, Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2:20, 1 Peter 2:6). He alone is my ROCK and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken. [Psalm 62:6] And whether it's man or Satan who tries to bring us down. Whether it's death or sin. We always get back up. Satan especially is like that little kid who gets so annoyed because he tries his hardest, but can never defeat the Bobo Dolls of Christ. O death where is your victory? When I get lost, my Shepherd comes and finds me. When I fall down, He lifts me up.

"Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me. I will bear the indignation of the Lord because I have sinned against him, until he pleads my cause and executes judgment for me. He will bring me out to the light; I shall look upon his vindication. Then my enemy will see, and shame will cover her who said to me,'Where is the Lord your God?' My eyes will look upon her; now she will be trampled down like the mire of the streets." [Micah 7:8-10]

Listen to:

Get Down

Audio Adrenaline

if i'm the HUNDREDTH sheep, then...

The LORD is my SHEPHERD, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside still waters,

he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness

for his name's sake.

Even though I walk

through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the LORD

forever.

[Psalm 23]

the real PROSPERITY gospel

May

I

Live

Like

I'm

Owed

Nothing

And

I've

Received

Everything

That's called grace my friends. When we deserved nothing, Christ died for us while we were still sinners. He gave us eternal life, eternal joy, and eternal love. The King of Kings has made us His children so let's live like we are sons and daughters of the most high God! Quit living as if this world could offer you everything. As C.S. Lewis would put it:

"Our lord finds our desires not too strong but too weak. We are half hearted creatures fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us. Like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday by the sea."

Let's live like we're millionaires, amen?! We're owed nothing, and we've received everything! What's holding you back? The Apostle Paul writes that "God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." [2 Cor. 9:8] God already loves us perfectly, and He has already given us everything we need. Money, sex, popularity, it all means nothing. Maybe in this lifetime we won't make too many Benjamins, but we sure are rich in our hearts. Better believe it. Now live like it.

"For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich." [2 Corinthians 8:9]

our FATHER deserves a little more than a hug

"For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, 'Abba! Father!' The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with Him." [Romans 8:14-17]

how to lose a faith in 10 DAYS

Don't worry, I haven't fallen into apostasy. I ain't jumpin' ship, nor am I questioning what I believe. But I marveled today-- how one morning I could wake up with an unshakeable faith as ever, and then another morning wake up and realize how quickly I had fallen and forsaken my faith. A little bit of this, a little bit of that, and before you know it I find myself asking, "How in the world did I get to this point?" All I'm going to say is that I am damn weak. And I can't live out this thing called Christianity out of my own power. I need Jesus.

I've taken note on some of my own folly that led me into spiritual depression. Take heed brethren, learn from my mistakes. Here's my "How to lose a faith in 10 days":

10) Sleep really late, and wake up really late. Play catch-up the whole day. Instead of letting your day revolve around God, try to fit God into your schedule if time permits. (And be sure to spend lots of time on the internet!)

9) Be alone for long periods of time. And if you happen to spend time with others, make sure not to talk about God or your walk. (p.s. - don't let the rebukes get to you)

8) Be somewhere that brings you back to your past, where you can easily fall back into old sinful habits.

7) Make exceptions (ex. If I just let myself sin this one time...I'll never do it again...)

6) Think highly of yourself. You can't fall. You're too strong. There's no such thing as spiritual depression... Always pretend that nothing is wrong.

5) Listen to tons of sermons and substitute them for your QT's. Be careful not to apply them to your life, and don't let anything convict you too much.

5) Don't let the gospel become a reality in your life. Don't think about the cross too much, it's just a bunch of Christian mumbo jumbo.

3) Stop reading the Bible.

2) Don't pray.

1) Lose your fear of God.

Let's be real, I've been running on fumes for about the last month. And I've just about hit empty. That list may sound funny, or even sarcastic, but that's exactly what I've been doing. In the meantime, my heart has been getting hard, and I feel more distant from God. Haha I used to pride myself so much that I didn't have one of those roller coaster Christian lives but God has a way of humbling me. At the very least I'm comforted because I know my Shepherd brings me back every time I wander. Pray for me brothers.

"Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." [James 4:8]

Currently listening to:

You Are My All In All

they say the difference between HEAVEN and HELL is 11 INCHES

Hmm....and what's the distance between my head and my heart?

to HYMN be the glory - come thou fount of every blessing

Come, Thou fount of every blessing,

Tune my heart to sing Thy grace.

Streams of mercy, never ceasing,

Call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet,

Sung by flaming tongues above;

Praise the mount, I'm fixed upon it,

Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Here I raise my Ebenezer

Hither by Thy help I come

And I hope by Thy good pleasure

Safely to arrive at home

Jesus sought me when a stranger,

Wandering from the fold of God;

He to rescue me from danger,

Interposed His precious blood.

O to grace, how great a debtor,

Daily I'm constrained to be.

Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,

Bind my wandering heart to Thee.

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it,

Prone to leave the God I love;

Here's my heart, O take and seal it,

Seal it for Thy courts above.

Listen to Come Thou Fount

the day JOHNNY CASHed in everything he had for CHRIST

I remember watching Walk the Line and being marveled at how one of the greatest American music legends fell so far down. The movie told the life story of Johnny Cash: his rise to fame and his demise to shame. Then at the end of the movie, it seemed like he had some kind reawakening, as if he made a new start for himself. But that part always confused me. What really caused that change? How did he get out of that pit?  And I just recently discovered…they left out the most important scene of his life from the movie.

In early October 1967, Cash hit rock bottom. He said, “I never wanted to see another dawn.  I had wasted my life. I had drifted so far away from God and every stabilizing force in my life that I felt there was no hope for me.” At that point Johnny Cash climbed his way into a Tennessee cave with one thing in mind: suicide.  And then he found Jesus again. Johnny describes in his own words:

“The absolute lack of light was appropriate, for at that moment I was as far from God as I have ever been. My separation from Him, the deepest and most ravaging of the various kinds of loneliness I’d felt over the years, seemed finally complete. It wasn’t. I thought I’d left him but He hadn’t left me. I felt something very powerful start to happen to me, a sensation of utter peace, clarity and sobriety. I didn’t believe it at first. I couldn’t understand it … the feeling persisted though and then my mind started focusing on God … there in Nickajack cave I became conscious of my destiny. I was not in charge of my own death. I was going to die at God’s time, not mine. I hadn’t prayed over my decision to seek death in the cave, but that hadn’t stopped God from intervening. I told my mother that God had saved me from killing myself. I told her I was ready to commit myself to Him and do whatever it took to get off drugs. I wasn’t lying.”

Talk about the return of the Prodigal Son. From disgrace to amazing grace, that’s a real life example right there. The temptations of the world choked him: money, drugs, sex, alcohol. But all those years, God never left him. Jesus went out and brought back that hundredth sheep. We can all learn something from this--graduating college, you might make a lot of money, you might be tempted with sex, drugs, gambling, drinking, you-name-it. And you know what? We WILL fall. But it's comforting to know that God can pick us up from the deepest pits. 

Johnny Cash sure as hell wasn’t perfect. He was a great sinner. But I’m no different. In Mark 2:17 Jesus says "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." We need Jesus. And this life will be tough. To that Cash says “It's an ongoing struggle. I do know, though, that if I commit myself to God every morning and stay honest with Him and myself, I make it through the day.” And I get to meet this brother in Christ one day. The brother who said, “Because You’re mine, I walk the line."

From His hands it came down
From His side it came down
From His feet it came down
And ran to the ground 
Between heaven and hell 
A teardrop fell in the deep crimson dew 
The tree of life grew

And the blood gave life 
To the branches of the tree 
And the blood was the price 
That set the captives free 
And the numbers that came 
Through the fire and the flood clung to the tree 
And were redeemed by the blood

From the tree streamed a light 
That started the fight 'round the tree grew a vine 
On whose fruit I could dine 
My old friend Lucifer came 
Fought to keep me in chains 
But I saw through the tricks 
Of six-sixty-six

And the blood gave life 
To the branches of the tree 
And the blood was the price 
That set the captives free 
And the numbers that came 
Through the fire and the flood clung to the tree 
And were redeemed by the blood

From His hands it came down 
From His side it came down 
From His feet it came down 
And ran to the ground 
And a small inner voice said "You do have a choice." 
The vine engrafted me and I clung to the tree

JESUS: the greater kobe

Every kid who has ever grown up in SoCal watched the Lakers. And when the Lakers played on the road, every kid watched it on KCAL9 (for those of us w/o cable, away games were the only thing we had haha). At dinner time, my family used to watch Stu Lantz & Co. commentate the games as Kobe and the Lakers battled it out on the other team's home court. Oh there were exciting games...where the Lakers and the opposing team seemed like they were tied throughout the whole night. Sometimes you never knew who would win. They would trade baskets--a fadeaway shot for a fadeaway shot, a block for a block, a dunk for a dunk, and a fastbreak for a fastbreak. It was a straight up battle!~ Who will win? But I already knew...

Haha here's the catch: KCAL9 was never in real-time. The away games in the East Coast were always recorded and then played back at dinner time in Los Angeles. So I would always check on espn.com to see who won that night (they had already played 3 hours ago), and then I would watch the game.  At times I would get so consumed by the game that I would totally forget the Lakers had already won earlier in the day.  But then I would remember. Even though some of the games got close, even when the Lakers looked hopelessly doomed to lose, I knew the final result already. I knew that in the end, the Lakers would pull it off. Some say that's no fun? Well, it was fun for me. :)

Recently I've been getting mad spiritually attacked. Sometimes I wonder, will God rescue me from this? Will I ever escape suffering? I feel so overwhelmed, I wonder if I will just end up giving up... just succumbing to sin. It's definitely a spiritual battle and it can be disheartening at times. Satan comes at me with full force: pride, anger, lust, apathy, you-name-it. But you know what comforts me? I already know I win. Because Jesus defeated Satan, sin, and death at the cross. So I cry out, "O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the VICTORY through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." [1 Cor. 15:55-58]  So remember brothers and sisters, if you feel like you're being attacked, like there's no way out, nor any way for victory. Remember... we already have victory. In Christ. :) Never forget that.

p.s. - I used to try to trick my brother by betting him money on who would win (when I already knew the score). Hehehe. But dangit, he never fell for it...

"Come here," he said, "and I'll give your flesh to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field!" David said to the Philistine, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will hand you over to me, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD's, and he will give all of you into our hands." [1 Samuel 17:44-47]

the POTTER and the clay

I took ceramics for two years in high school. Got all the way to Advanced Ceramics (ooohh~), but my teacher got angry at me because all I ever made were pots. Pots, pots, pots. The same size, the same cylinder shape, the same style. Haha I never moved on from that, but hey, I was damn good at makin' those pots.

When you're on that wheel (the spinning thingy where you make pots), it's important to keep the clay wet. When the clay gets dry, it becomes hard--and it's extremely difficult to mold. It doesn't make the shape you want it to make. Sometimes it takes a prolonged period of soaking to get the clay moist again if it's been out there too long. And in some cases, the clay is so hard and brittle that you just have to start over with a new piece of clay.

God is the Potter. I am the clay. When I'm soaked in the Living Water, I easily surrender to God's will for me. God can use me so effortlesslly and I'm joyfully willing to do anything for Christ. But oftentimes my heart becomes dry and hard. The Bible is like water, and the more I immerse myself in it, the softer my heart gets. Yet right now I feel like my heart of clay is so hard. It's dry. It's brittle. So change my heart oh God, make it ever true. Change my heart oh God, may I be like You. You are the potter, I am the clay. Mold me and make me, this is what I pray.

This is my prayer. But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. [Isaiah 64:8] Soften my heart Lord. Saturate it with the Word. Fill me up with the Holy Spirit. Or heck, even throw out my heart of stone and give me a new heart.

The word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: “Arise, and go down to the potter's house, and there I will let you hear my words.” So I went down to the potter's house, and there he was working at his wheel. And the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter's hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do. Then the word of the Lord came to me: “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the Lord. Behold, like the clay in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel. [Jeremiah 18:1-6]

70 x 7

The NUMBERS of FORGIVENESS.

for I am not ASHAMED of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes [romans 1:16]

"If a lame man laughs at you for walking upright—will you therefore limp?" [Thomas Watson]

However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. [1 Peter 4:16]

so i WONDER...

1) If you had never seen/heard of a church, religion, Christian institution... And someone gave you a Bible--after reading it, would the Church look like what it is today? Would Christianity look like what it is today?

2) If everyone at church was just like you, what would it look like?

HIGHSCHOOL dances

Remember all those dances in high school? Homecoming dance, Backwards dance, Sadies, Prom, etc. Ooh~ I used to just love them. And I still remember, we would all dress up nice with our TJ Max suits and go out to eat in some fancy 2-star restaurants. Then we'd come back to school, to find our North Gymnasium decorated and transformed to the appropriate theme. We would check in our coats/shoes with the teachers, and then run off into the dark, misty, strobe-lighted, music-blaring dance world.

The young little 13-17 year olds that we were--my friends and I always came in thinkin' like we were the hot shots, the studs. It was always, how many girls can you dance with tonight? How low can you get? Watch this new move.~ What's the maximum number of girls you can dance with at the same time? Look how dangerously low my hands go. Hey bro I need backup my legs are getting tired. Haha there was more bumping and grinding than the 405 freeway during traffic hour. But it was oh so fun! Until suddenly....it ended. Oh it always came so abruptly.

As we were dancing and freakin', the teachers would always turn on all the lights in the Gym to make us leave. It was such a rude awakening. The music was still blaring, but the fun was gone. You got to see everyone's sweaty oily faces. With the lights on you realized you were in the North Gymnasium, not some fancy nightclub. Suddenly dancing didn't look so cute when all the lights were on. Eww. And the girls felt awkward with everyone visible. Hahaha. I remember those times...

I feel like sin is the same way. In darkness, sin is oh so fun. No worries, no shame. It's all fun and games walking in the darkness. Until BOOM. You're reading the Bible and God turns on that proverbial "light switch". Suddenly the light hits you like a roundhouse kick to the face. Just like when King David was in sin with Batsheba, and then wabam! God reveals to him his sin using the prophet Nathan in 2 Samuel 12. Gotcha! David says in Psalm 90:8, "You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence." Hahaha I hate it and I love it. My prayer: Lord reveal to me the hidden sins of my heart.

In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. [2 Corinthians 4:4-6]

i wish all those cute bunnies would eat all those ridiculously colored eggs and get sick and never show up again for EASTER

Bunnies and Egg Hunts are a myth. But I recently discovered a recurring Christian myth about Easter:

On Sunday I heard an advertisement on KFSH 95.9 fm that said, "Come join us on the holiest day of the year for a special concert at ___ Church." 

Holiest day of the year?! How is Easter holier than any other day?! Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. [Romans 6:8-11]  In Christ we are no longer dead to sin but alive to God. And that means every single day we are crucified with Christ. Every single day we take up our cross. Once for all Christ was resurrected, which means every single day our souls are counted perfectly holy because of the perfect blood of the Lamb.

Easter ain't any holier. However... it should still be special. As humans, we forget so easily that if we don't have a special day to remember the resurrection, we probably wouldn't do it anyways. We often say Jesus died for us, He died for us, died for us. But we often forget Jesus was resurrected. 

All the difference in the world lies in this one question: Was the tomb empty? Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:14, "And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain." The entire Christianity could be disproved and dismantled by one historical event. If the resurrection never happened, Christianity would mean nothing. Brother, your life would mean nothing. But it did happen. And the world was changed forever. Everything matters because of the resurrection. So remember that this week.

On that note, I'll leave you with this from N.T. Wright:

The message of the resurrection is that this world matters! That the injustices and pains of this present world must now be addressed with the news that healing, justice, and love have won... If Easter means Jesus Christ is only raised in a spiritual sense--[then] it is only about me, and finding a new dimension in my personal spritual life. But if Jesus Christ is truly risen from the dead, Christianity becomes good news for the whole world--news which warms our hearts precisely because it isn't just about warming hearts. Easter means that in a world were injustice, violence and degradation are endemic, God is not prepared to tolerate such things--and that we will work and plan, with all the energy of God, to implement victory of Jesus over them all. Take away Easter and Karl Marx was probably right to accuse Christanity of ignoring problems of the material world. Take it away and Freud was probably right to say Christanity is wish-fulfillment. Take it away and Nietzsche probably was right to say it was for wimps.

too holy for that SIN stuff

Ye whose love is fervent, whose faith is constant, whose hopes are bright, say not, "We shall never sin," but rather cry, "Lead us not into temptation." There is enough tinder in the heart of the best of men to light a fire that shall burn to the lowest hell, unless God shall quench the sparks as they fall.

[C.H. Spurgeon]

hUrriCANe ENDURE

So last night my Dad was dropping me off at school and we had a nice little conversation in the car. I was telling him how I get busier and busier every quarter, and that I don't know how I could possibly add more to my already overflowing plate. He laughed and replied get ready--life gets progressively more difficult. There's no threshold that once you pass a certain level, it's all smooth sailing. There's always going to be more responsibility, more bills, more relationships, more ministry, more everything. To sum it up my Dad said "Young man... Life never gets easier." And then he started laughing again "You'll see, you'll see..."

Haha. I feel like our Christian life is exactly the same. I hear many new Christians (including myself) ask, "When does this Christian life get any easier?" The answer: never. Atleast not until we die. I feel like in many ways, the Christian life is like a HURRICANE. Hurricanes are weakest on the outskirts, and get stronger as you go in. The strongest point is right outside the eye of the hurricane, aka the eyewall. The eyewall is a circle of strong thunderstorms that surrounds the eye; here is where the greatest wind speeds are found, where clouds reach the highest, and precipitation is the heaviest. The heaviest wind damage occurs where a tropical cyclone's eyewall passes over land.

Imagine you live on an island and a hurricane is projected to pass above where you are. At first, the sky gets gray and the breeze starts picking up. Then the palm trees start shakin' and it starts raining cats and dogs. Soon you see roofs getting torn off so you hide in your flooded basement. The winds are howling, the sky is dark, and the rain feels like bullets. When will it end? Until you hear silence...you walk outside to see the most eerily beautiful tranquility you've ever dreamed.

Our lives will only get tougher. Suffering will only increase. But Jesus says, "the one who endures to the end will be saved." (Matthew 24:12). So stand firm brethren. And don't worry, Jesus promises us at the end of Matthew, "behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Hang on tight, we'll get to the eye soon. Where perfect peace and tranquility await. No more tears, no more sorrows.

Eye hope to see Christ soon.

"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ" [Philippians 1:6]

Currently listening to:

There Will Be A Day

Jeremy Camp

SINergism

I feel like sin is a vicious cycle. As I like to call it, SINergism:

1) First, I sin. You can fill in the blank.

2) I feel bad/guilty/shame/sucky.

3) I cry out, "I'll never do it again."

4) Then I feel a need to get right with God.

5) And then I try everything in my own power to stop sin.

6) After ____ amount of time, I do it again.

7) And again. And again.

8) Hit Repeat.

And everytime it happens again, I get more and more disheartened. When will it ever end?

Three insightful verses I came across today:

1. [Galatians 3:3] - "Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?"

Analysis: It's true, we try to fight sin with our own human effort. After we sin, we try to "get right with God" by being really passionate in our efforts (ex. We block internet, throw away our computer, break up with the gf/bf, we give our credit card to a buddy for accountability, we stop hanging out with certain people, etc, etc.) But we do it out of our own human power. Paul is saying, "Are you an idiot?" You were born again through the power of the Holy Spirit. If God is for us, who can be against us? And after all that, now you're going to try to stop sin with your own power?

Lesson: Don't be an idiot. Don't try to kill sin by human effort.

2. [2 Timothy 3:5] - "having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power."

Analysis: First, we don't want to admit we're weak. We don't tell other people because we're embarassed/ashamed. We don't have accountability partners. Maybe we do, but it's sparse. But to most people, we have the appearance of godliness. Secondly, we deny "the power" from which we can attain true godliness. We deny the power of God that can make us godly, and we try to gain godliness on our own.

Lesson: You only end up with the appearance of godliness. Don't deny God's power.

3. [Romans 8:13] - "For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live"

Analysis: You will put to death the misdeeds of the body. But ONLY IF BY THE SPIRIT you do so, and then you will live. We try to kill the flesh with our own willpower. "You can do it! You can kill it! Just overcome it mentally, emotionally, physically." NO! NO! NO! It's only by the power of the Spirit we can put to death SIN.

Lesson: Wanna live? Then put to death sin by the Spirit.

It's definitely not exhaustive. But it's something to chew on...

putting the FUN back in FUNDAMENTALISM

"You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
[Psalm 16:11]

"Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart."
[Psalm 37:4]

Have a good time with God.

Enjoy.

:)

you can have all this world, but give me JESUS

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise, give me Jesus

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus,
You can have all this world,
But give me Jesus

When I am alone
When I am alone
When I am alone, give me Jesus

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus,
You can have all this world,
But give me Jesus

When I come to die
When I come to die
When I come to die, give me Jesus

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus,
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
But give me Jesus

MAN up son!

I was raised by the most alpha male, masculine, man's man father I've ever met. When he wasn't a Christian, he used to feed jippsanims knucklesandwiches (literally) when they talked too much crap at church, and he brought in ggangpaes to protect the senior pastor from being kicked out. For as long as I remember, he was seen as the role model deacon, but he continued to bring his worldly macho-ness into the church.. Few people know that he was also deeply in the sin of women, heavy drinking, and drugs. He was a brawling blue-collar painting contractor with a dirty mouth who was drowning in his own testosterone. And then he met Jesus.

What I love the most is that my dad man is still the same dude. Except now he just plays for the other team. Of course he's still a 2Cor.5:17 man, but he also hasn't lost any of his masculinity, like I've seen in so many guys who meet Christ. Since then, I have been hugely influenced by how Christ has used my sinful daddy for His glory and it awes me.

When I was born again in July '06, I was so confused (still am) by what it means to be a man of God. Do I have to be a soft-speaking ultra-gentle fembot? Because what I saw growing up was a fabio-looking Jesus holding a lamb in His arms when in fact he was a tough, blue collar, and Jack Bauer-like Savior. In addition, I had very few role models--how about older hyung examples? At church I saw 2 things in older hyungs: either a manly guy with no Christ, or a guy with Christ but no manliness whatsoever. So I am left today with a really strange conception of what it means to be a MAN of God. 'S-A-N-C-T-I-F-I-C-A-T-I-O-N' is still a really long word to me, but by the grace of God I'm learning what a man is and how I can become one.
The worly definition, and the biblical definition of a MAN are to be distinguished. They are eerily similar yet different. One is the corrupted/twisted/sinful version of the other. A couple things I've learned that dudes like:
1) Girls - When the world says be a playa, flirt like hell and have sex with as many girls as you can, the Biblical Man must save all that for his wife alone. Be her MVP, flirt with her, and etc.
2) Drinking - When the world says go out and have fun and get drunk/wasted cuz it's cool, the Biblical Man gets drunk on the Holy Spirit (and that's an order!) cuz it's cool.

3) Fighting - When the world says fight with others to reach the top and don't back down to no fools, the Biblical Man fights for the Truth and fights against Satan.

These are 10 types of dudes that, well...I am praying for:

1. Wimps, Pansies

2. Complainers, Whiners, Mr. Downer

3. Video gamers, Grown men who still play Starcraft and Warcraft

4. The second son in Matthew 21:28-31

5. Guys who pick on weaker people
6. Guys who think they're a lot harder than they really are

7. Dudes who can't back up what they say

8. Gossipers
9. Guys who don't provide for their own family
10. Guys who get chicks pregnant and then ditch them

But thank God I have some real MEN of God that I look up to:

8. NFL's John Kitna and NCAA's Tim Tebow

7. UFC Fighters who are hella Christians (Randy Couture, Matt Hughes, Pat Barry)

6. Mark Driscoll, John MacArthur, John Piper(don't be fooled by his stature)

5. Pastor Awax + Pastor Bizzle

4. Samson and Solomon (also my future sons' names)

3. Missionary Jason Yoo (Yucatan)

2. My Daddy

1. Jesus Christ

Conclusion: Like I said before, I'm in no position to define what a MAN of God is. I know it's not all about macho-ness and stuff. But I am walking painstakingly on the road of sanctification and Jesus is teaching me how to be a true man. So be true to God. And be true to yourself. That's what it really comes down to at the end of the day.

i'm STARVING

"7 dayz without the Word of God makes ONE WEAK."
-Shon Grady

why ME?

We often cry, "Why did God allow this to happen to me? I don't deserve ___(fill in the blank)___. I don't deserve it..."

And that's absolutely correct.

We DON'T deserve it! Because we actually deserve much worse.

An old Puritan once said, "Your sufferings are not so great as your sins. Put these two in the balance, and see which weighs heaviest."

Want real justice? For the wages of sin is death. That's what we really deserve. But it's God's grace that even allows us to live, let alone have eternal life with Christ. So cheer up! Whatever way you look at it, you're doing better than you deserve. Have a nice day!

FUEGO de dios

"The cross is the blazing fire at which the flame of our love is kindled, but we have to get near enough to it for it's sparks to fall on us."

You know those sparks are? Those sparks are the drops of His blood that fall on our head while we're clinging to the cross as Christ is being crucified... That's how close we need to be to ignite.

People warn us, don't get too close to the fire you might get burned. Not only do I want to get burned haha, I want to be freakin' consumed by that fire! So draw me close to You. Consuming fire, fan into flame, a passion for Your name. Lord have Your way with me.

And yes our God, He is a consuming fire

And the flames burn down deep in my soul

Yes our God, He is a consuming fire

He reaches inside and He melts down this cold heart of stone

[Third Day - Consuming Fire]

15 + 1

Billy and I were chatting the other day and he said "Dang I didn't expect this much work for missions training. I have to memorize so many bible verses!" And I had an epiphane... memorizing verses is just like loading bullets into your gun!

It may be tedious. But you don't want to go to the frontlines and find yourself with an empty cartridge. Whether it's for defense or offense, we gotta lock and load:

1) Defense - Jesus was tempted 3 times by the devil. Each time, Jesus defended Himself and fought against Satan with Scripture.

2) Offense - The Bible tells us to put on the whole armor of God: the belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, shoes of readiness, shield of faith, helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit. Only ONE offensive weapon--and that's "the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God (Eph 6:17)"

*In gangsta terms, they call that 15 + 1. That means your 9mm handgun is locked and loaded. 15 bullets in the clip, and 1 in the chamber... ready to fire and kill someone at any moment. Be ready to kill Satan at a moment's notice.

Lock and load baby. 15 + 1.

I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

[Psalm 119:11]

give the devil an INCH, and he'll become a RULER

When a little hole is opened to the devil, through which, it seems to you, he can hardly pass with his head, he has all he needs and slithers in with his entire body. [Martin Luther]

Watch yo self.

i FEEL ya tozer

O God, I have tasted Your goodness,

and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more.

I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace.

I am ashamed of my lack of desire.

O God, The Triune God,

I want to want You;

I long to be filled with longing;

I thirst to be made more thirsty still.

Show me Your glory, I pray,

so I may know You indeed.

Begin in mercy a new work of love within me...

Give me grace to rise and follow You up from this misty lowland

where I have wandered so long.

In Jesus' name. Amen.

if only there were SOMEONE...

Job says in Ch. 9:
³³ If only there were someone to arbitrate between us,
to lay his hand upon us both,
³⁴ someone to remove God's rod from me,
so that his terror would frighten me no more.

Hmmm... if only there were...

For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time. [1 Timothy 2:5-6]

Just wasn't the proper time for you yet Job, haha. I'm on the other side of the cross, but you know what's cool? We still have the same Arbitrator! :D

i don't understand GRACE

I don’t understand grace. Not at all.

For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. [Romans 5:7-8]

I am that sinner. And I am wickedly sinful. I am a super prideful, sexually lusting, attention loving, power hungry, greedy, brash, unloving, quick tempered, bigoted, self-glorifying, hard-hearted SINNER! And that's only the tip of the iceberg. You can't even imagine the evil thoughts that go through my mind/heart. And I sin daily, hourly, almost every few minutes. All the time.

And then... THE GOD, Almighty maker of the heavens and earth, comes to be humiliated as a man. Beaten to the point where his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likeness—And DIES a horrible death on the CROSS for ME?! FOR ME?! A wicked sinner...

Think about that. It doesn't even make sense. I feel like just saying "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!"

From disgrace to amazing grace. Sometimes I feel like it's too good to be true. I believe, but help my unbelief Lord.

slowly but SURELY

By perseverance the snail reached the ark.
[C.H. Spurgeon]

ICY HOT

The same sun that melts the ice, hardens the clay.

Likewise...the same Son that melts a believer's heart, hardens the heart of an unbeliever.

The ice begins hard and becomes weak. The clay begins weak and becomes hard. The more you hear the gospel, the closer you will be with Christ or the more numb you will be to it. Hate it or love it.

When you hear the gospel, which is it?

We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first. As has just been said: "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion."

[Hebrews 3:14-15]

we're ONLY on the cover and title page

"And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures... had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before."

C.S. Lewis
The Last Battle

1 is a 100, and a 100 is 1

Don't be overly impressed nor disappointed by the turnout. Numbers don't mean crap. Whoever is there is there.. So give the gospel with a 100% of your heart. To an audience of 100, do so as if it were an individual. And if it's just 1 person, give the gospel like you would to a crowd of 100.

Dudes with helpful insight:
1) Charles Spurgeon once said that when you pay attention to the seat that is empty, you are paying a disservice to the one that is filled.
2) Mark Driscoll comments "even if there is one person, that one person is someone God has brought for us to minister to and if they are willing to come we must be willing to love them with Jesus love."

a BEAUTIFUL mind, a BEAUTIFUL savior

In the movie A Beautiful Mind, John Nash is a genius mathematician who develops paranoid schizophrenia. Throughout the movie he goes into these delusional hallucinations-- which are inhabited by an old man in a hat (Parcher), his 'friend' (Charles), and a young girl (Marcee) who lead him into ruin. He indulges in his imaginary life, and the deeper he gets into it, the more painful the loss and burden his condition brings to his wife and friends. The breaking point is when Parcher urges Nash to even kill his wife. He suffers immeasurably, and it seems like there is no solution... until, his wife Alicia looks him in the eye and says she'll love him until the end. From that point he doesn't pay attention to the imaginary characters, but instead focuses on the love of his wife. Even at the end of the movie, Nash and Alicia are about to leave an auditorium when John sees Charles, Marcee, and Parcher standing by and watching him. Yet he lives life freely because he no longer indulges on them but instead on the love of his life, Alicia.

I see an eerie resemblance between John Nash and ourselves as Christians. I especially see an eerie resemblance between A Beautiful Mind and Romans 6-7. We were once slaves of sin, but we are now free in regard to righteousness. Our flesh still dwells in us, but it does not control us nor is master over us. Just as John Nash used to indulge himself in his delusions, I once indulged in my sinful flesh. And while he broke his wife's heart as he indulged in his schizophrenia, so we break God's heart when we fall into sin. John Nash's solution was to focus on the love of his wife. And my solution-- the love of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. Parcher, Charles, and Marcee (our flesh) dwelled within him, even until the last day. But they were no longer master over him. Likewise, we will be struggling with our sinful flesh until the day we die, but our master is no longer sin, but Christ. So just as he gazed into his wife's eyes, let us just gaze directly into the eyes and love of God. That is our only Solution.

the great EXCHANGE

We don't get what we deserve.
We get what we don't deserve.

That exchange is made upon the cross.

He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf,
so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

[2 Cor. 5:21]

HUNGRY again?!

So on Friday night I had "dduk-boh-sahm", or in English, "all-you-can-eat-korean-bbq". And it was delicious--I ate so much that I had trouble walking back to the car! I went to sleep thinking I don't need to eat for the next week. However, when I woke up on Saturday morning... I was sooo hungry again. Funny how that works huh? You go to sleep with your stomach about to explode, and then you wake up even hungrier the next morning.

I feel that's how it is with Bible reading. The more you read, the more you desire and hunger for the Word. Your spiritual stomach stretches...meaning, if you read a lot daily, you're going to need to read a lot on a daily basis in order to keep you fed spiritually. Vice versa, if you barely eat anything the whole day, your stomach shrinks and you don't really feel too hungry. If you barely read the Word, your need for it will never grow. Which means you will never grow spiritually either. So eat up fellas!

Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone,
but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"
[Matthew 4:4]