what's the condition of your HEART?

For the past week or so my heart has been doing this weird thing-- Every once in a while it beats hard and fast for a moment, and I just sort of freeze. When it happens I can't breathe for like 1-2 seconds either.

I'm a really healthy guy, or atleast I think I am, so at first it kind of freaked me out. Then to add unto my woes, my genius friend David Park (B.A. in B.S.) thought he could diagnose it by my brief description of it: "Oh my God you have a heart rhythm disorder, it's called disrhythmia. We spent a whole week studying it at EMT class. The next thing that's gonna happen is a heart attack, and a lot of people die from it."

Yea thanks for the encouragement. Makes me feel like a champ!
NOT! You freakin' shekki.

So I was like alright.... I guess it's JESUS TIME (aka "time to die") real soon. And all these thoughts began flooding my head. I still need to graduate. I still haven't got married. Who will take care of my family and friends? But you know what else I thought? The worst thing that could ever happen to you is actually the best thing that could ever happen to you! You die? Pshhh! That's tight!! You get to be with the LORD!! The Apostle Paul sums it up short and sweet: "To live is Christ and to die is gain."

But then again, I love what R.C. Sproul says--"I'm not scared of death at all, but I am scared of dying." Dang me too! At the cross, death has lost its sting, so I don't fear it. But freak! I'm hella scared of the way I'm going to die, whether it's from a freak snowboard accident or a painful heart attack. It would be nice if I could die in my sleep like that couple in The Notebook...

I'm not trying to be emo or anything, but honestly I'm totally fine with whatever God decides to do with my life. He gives. He takes away. I admire Job, who says "though He slay me, I will hope in Him." Or another great example (from Shane&Shane): King Nebuchadnezzar wants to put Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego into a furnace for not bowing down to a false god. They reply "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3:17-18) He certainly can rescue us. But even if God doesn't deliver me out of that fiery furnace, I will still praise Him. If I live, then praise God. If I die, then I ask not why, but why not. His grace is sufficient for me, and His love is already more than I deserve.

So today was an interesting day-- the slightest possibility of death, and fancying the thought of dying. It makes you think. Gives you a little reality check, a humble slice of perspective. Things like money, girls, church, school assignments, etc., just fades away in importance. The only thing that matters, and ever will, is Christ. So if you're alive, then to live is Christ. Remember that.

What's the condition of your soul's heart? If you died tomorrow, would you be ready? Would you still praise Him? Think about it.




P.S. - For those of you worried for me, don't worry. I checked WebMd.com and it says heart rhythm disorders are not threatening at all and sometimes it happens to healthy people. :D Atleast it made me examine my real heart.